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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Can't get no satisfaction

This isn't a post about how you should live your life everyday like it's the last. I think that may be one of the most stressful ways to live. What is life really except seemingly mundane events day after day interspersed with moments of joy and tragedy? You go to work, you wash the dishes, you read a book, and then one day out of nowhere your brother dies or your kid gets cancer. (yes my brother died, no none of my kids have cancer.)

I don't even think we should worry about finding joy in everyday things. I mean, if you are scrubbing a pot and smiling gleefully, I am going to think you are a crazy person. Joy comes from the unique. I don't feel joy every time my kid talks, but I feel intense joy when they blurt out something profound. I think if I felt that kind of joy all day I would burst.

I think about what it means to me to have a happy life and the word that comes to me is satisfied. I am satisfied with my day to day life. I suppose that makes me sound like a downer, but I mean it in the best way possible. Let me give some examples.

Having a wedding is exciting. There's a party and a big cake. Your spouse looks gorgeous and you slow dance and gaze in each other's eyes. It's awesome. I am all for romance and carrying on, but what happens when you are both tired at the end of the long working day and the last thing you want to do is carry on like newlyweds. I think it is important to be able to sit down on the couch next to your spouse, turn on the TV, and think, "I am satisfied."

I have a beautiful house. I really do. It is glorious. I didn't always though. We have lived in a number of apartments that were simple and small. And that was good enough. If everything fell apart and we lost our house and had to find a new place to live, I would be okay with it. I would be able to look around and think, "I am satisfied."

There's a joke in my family about a time long ago when I bought a bikini for a beach trip. I told everyone I was buying the bikini because I wanted to inspire myself to lose some of that college weight. I put the suit on when I got home and looked in the mirror and thought, "bah! I look great! To heck with that exercise plan!" True story. I am still the same way except now I have a bit extra baby weight. Sometimes I think I should feel worse about my body (thanks media!), but when I look in the mirror I think, "I am satisfied."

For me it is not about settling or putting up with good enough. It is about realizing that what surrounds you is already pretty good. It is about understanding that often the thing that needs to change is not your spouse or your waistline, but your attitude. I have goals and plans for the future that I am very excited about and I am sure there will come a time when I will not be satisfied with something, but I am glad that I am at the point in my life where I can look at what surrounds me and think, "I am satisfied."

Being satisfied makes me happy.

2 comments:

Stephanie said...

Becky - I have had fun going back and reading through many of your blog posts. And this one is great too. Sometimes I feel down about what are really minor annoyances or problems...but the majority of my life is quite good and I am satisfied. Glad I get to read your stories.

Charlyn said...

yup.