http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-little-gir_b_882510.html?ir=Women&icid=maing-grid7|main5|dl3|sec1_lnk2|73640
I admit I constantly want to tell the little girls I know that they are beautiful and cute and precious and lovely in so many ways, but I do agree that it can be counterproductive. I know I enjoy getting complimented on my appearance, but as an adult I have already established interests and personality traits that have nothing to do with my looks. This issue goes deeper because I think it can be counterproductive to compliment a child about anything.
For instance, if you are always telling your child what a great helper they are this could lead to the child growing up to be a person who is overly concerned with doing things for other people. Or if you focus too much on your child's interest in dinosaurs she may grow up to be a paleontologist. Telling a young girl that they are beautiful may just cause them to grow up thinking that they are attractive and that could have dire consequences.
Joking aside, the article does have an important point and that is to make sure kids know they are capable. They can look beautiful, but they can also ride a bike really fast or memorize their multiplication tables. So while we should guard against setting our daughter's up for low self esteem regarding their appearance, we can still tell them they are beautiful now and again, but maybe do it after we have asked what book they are reading.
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