Flash Point

The sibling rivalry has been at an all time high around here since we arrived home from vacation. the boys may have spent a bit too much family fun time together and are now jockeying for position at home. All the fighting this week has made me think about an issue that probably pops up with multiple child family. When is the right time to intervene in an argument?

Let's say you take the approach of letting the kids work it out with each other. I fall into this camp, but what I have found is they just don't know how.  This philosophy may be more practical when they are older, but right now they are not capable of knowing when to stop hitting and start talking. I could let the physical fights play out, but they tend to escalate if I don't intervene and it doesn't seem fair to the smaller one. I try to time my intervention right. I want to make sure I am not stopping them from working it out with each other, but I also don't want it to get to the point of no return.

Once I intervene I attempt to get them to come up with a solution to the problem on their own, but sometimes the emotions are in control and they can't get to that point. Sadly some situations don't get solved, they just go away. The toy gets put in the closet or one child is removed to another room to calm down. As they get older, they will learn to articulate their emotions with words better. Until then, I will try to time my interventions correctly and give them the words they need to analyze and solve problems.

Overall my boys get along well with each other and only get in a few arguments each day. I think this is great considering how much time they spend with each other. I wish there was a no-fail parenting solution for how to handle their fights, but I think a parent has to analyze and approach each situation uniquely. It's a bit more work than having a set methodology to follow, but I think the end results will be worth the extra time.