Being Mom

Today I was taking a bath and heard a little knock on the door.

"Mommy," Little Man sobbed.

Slightly annoyed at my alone time being interrupted I said, "I'll be out in just a little bit baby."

"Mommy, I sad. I want a hug."

I doubt many mothers could resist those words. So I wrapped a towel around myself and opened the door. I sat down on the floor and gave him a good squeeze until he felt better.

I guess that is what being mom is all about. I have no doubt that my son and I are attached and continuing to do so with each day. He has been in our home nearly two years now and my life would not be complete without him.

I am sure many adoptive parents latch onto the moments when they knew for sure that they had attached with their adopted child. For some, the moment comes right away. Other parent's slowly form that attachment. Sadly, some parents and children are never able to form the secure attachment that is desired in an adoptive parent and child relationship.

I fell in love with Little Man the moment I laid eyes on him, but attachment is different than love. There are many children that I love, but I am attached only to my own. Parents know that feeling of attachment. I have attachments to both biological and adopted children, but there are differences between the attachment I have with my bio kids and the attachment I have with my adopted son. My biological kids will never wonder about their other mother and how much better or worse she may be than me.  I am sure at some point they will wish they had another mother, but for them it will always be a fantasy.

This may be a crass way to put it, but with Little Man I have competition because there is someone out there who brought him into this world. I hope she had the opportunity to gaze into his eyes at least for a moment and feel that tidal wave of love the way that I get to everyday. Will he wonder about what life would have been like with her? Definitely. Will he compare me to her? Probably. How do I feel about that? I don't know yet.